Special K

Just shown your video to my neighbour... his words - "I could drive my Zafira quicker than that!" I nearly spilled my beer.... Spec K

Rich - can you bring an EH8 kit to Lydden, please? If you've got one available. (Although the way I keep 'gravel-trapping' I'll probably need a dozen of 'em...) Spec K

New model - Vauxhall 'Corsa use Halfords, Where Else..?' 0w-20w is a bit mean.... should be 0w-30w if it's synthetic... Spec K

In this case it was a bit of Ale© which flew everywhere, by the look of it. Perhaps a 'director' of the Drivers Club should be a little more circumspect, reflective and adult. And discuss a common approach to such issues with his fellow Board members...? Merely a thought... I'm sure that's what most of us would appreciate - I know I certainly would.. Spec K

That's gonna be one mean machine, Ed... ... fancy a day at Spa later in the year..? Spec K

I agree with all Lauren's/LFA's/Keethos' remarks, Rob. Some of your lines through corners were, err, a bit eccentric... so tuition/practice are very much called for.. you will no doubt drive the pants off me at Woodbridge.. Spec K

Steve - I'm not sure I appreciate the "... you lot..." comment above. I for one have not got a clue what you/Alec are on about. And nor, I guess, does 99.9% of this Club/Forum. Take it to PM please. If you must... Spec K

Yep, a great write up, Lauren.. as befits a budding journalist.. I wonder how a turbo would deal with the altitude problem? Better than a s/charger? Spec K

One for the less-than-politically-correct... Look up 'How not to throw a hand grenade' in Google and follow the Telegraph thread... Spec K

Rob.... you've reached the middle phase. You've lost the 'easy meat' - nonbound lipids readily convertible into instant energy - and now you've got to start unbinding the longer-term lipids. This is when mind over matter counts.. Chicken is so booooooring! Nowt wrong with a bit of venison, plain grilled.. I see no fish, my friend - and I don't mean the chipshop variety, I mean whitefish poached in fat-free milk .. panfried or grilled in a smear of olive oil mebbe.. a green side salad with a dash of balsamic... and a small portion of plain boiled rice (instant energy and no lasting carbohydrates) infused with a smidgeon of your beloved piri-piri dressing.. .... find a local Thai restaurant and treat yourself to a bowl of Thai Tom Yum... ask for it 'pet' (spicey hot).. you almost never see an obese Thai.. Get rid of the nuts. If you like dates go for them instead.. Medjoul are my preference.. It's taken me 40 years of selfless dedication to keep my svelte, lithe, nine stone weakling body... it helps that I can't keep my wife's cooking down... C'mon! You can do it.... Spec K

Sid the farmer was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire when suddenly a new BMW advanced towards him in a cloud of dust.. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Rayban sunglasses and a YSL tie, leaned out of the window and asked the farmer " If I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Sid looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers "Sure, why not.." Yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cellphone and surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds into another NASA satellite that scans the area into an ultra-high resolution photo. He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image-processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. So he accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and after a few minutes gets a response. Finally he prints out a full-colour 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturised HP Laser Jet printer, turns to the farmer and says " You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves ". "That's right" says Sid. "Well, I guess you can take one of my calves" He watches the young man select one of his animals and looks on with amusement as he stuffs it into the back of his car. Then Sid says to the young man "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says "Okay, why not.." "You're a Member of Parliament for our Government" says Sid, withouit hesitation. "Wow! That's correct" says the yuppie " but how did you guess that..?" "No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you : you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You use millions of £-worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are : and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.... this is a herd of sheep..." " Now give me back my f***ing dog!" Spec K

I love this 3D print idea... plastic or metal... just wish I had the techy-knowledge and CAD program to set it up.. I want tyre valve covers in the shape of naked wimmin... with colour change for over/under pressure... oooerr... Spec K

PING! James and I are meeting at the Cunning Man, Burghfield, Reading RG30 3RB today (Monday) at 11.30ish, if anyone's at a loose end... Woohoo.... two autos at the same place... is this a first? Spec K

Four days mowing the lawn and being coerced into house decorating is not my idea of fun... ... anyone fancy a 'meet' over Easter? Bit of a 'treasure hunt'? I'll find some Easter Eggs and hide 'em in the countryside somewhere... can be anywhere in the south east - Essex, Kent, Suffolk, Cambridge areas ... ... lunch at a local hostelry? Who's up for it? Spec K

Interesting to note that Bentley have launched three new hybrids for the Chinese market - today's Telewag. Spec K

What? Keith soon be 'poorly kid' as well....?? Spec K

Late notice - CHOSENMAN and I are meeting up at 11.30am tomorrow in Reading Anyone wanna join us? Spec K

Big difference between a £15grand hybrid Toyo and £100grand hybrid Honda, Steve.. Like, err, £85 hybrid grand... and would you go for an NSX rather than an Audi R8 ? Spec K

Sorry guys - with James not making it (we were meeting specifically for him to drive my car, being auto and turbo'd) I shall also give it a miss.. Hope to meet all at Blyton next week... Spec K

Lauren- you were right to stay out of it. Bent metal is nothing. Ask me - I'm an egg spurt.. Spec K

V6 would be good - rumours were a straight six as the original... Hybrid? In yer teeth! - that crap?.. out straight away! (.. unless it's KERS...). Ask my mate Jeremy.. I was privileged to drive a 'hybrid' last year, courtesy of Riceburner, whilst a few dents were sorted out on my beloved.. ... my psychiatrist says I am making good progress but it will take time to heal this particular mental trauma.. .. (ain't it grand when the NHS gives you a 'petrolhead' consultant..) Spec K

On the night I got my car I suffered a frypan over my head. Doesn't everyone suffer that? Spec K

YEAH!! LEARN AND BURN!! Spec K

No, mate.... massive respect to you - you suffered, we merely cringed in sympathy... ThinRab leads, others follow.... (as as destitute pauper, in my case...) :hug: ... aaargh.... just send me a bill... Spec K

That one! Looks awesome in red... ... really, really keen to find out what engine/powertrain they're installing as standard.. Spec K